Dr. Little recently wrote a new book and along with it has answered a few questions on the topic of theodicy in a two part series. Part 1 deals with why the "greater good" theodicy continues to fail and part 2 gives an overview of the alternative view, creation-order theodicy. Take a moment, read it, and see how helpful this will be for understanding your own Christian walk, ministering to others, and defending your faith.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Problem of Evil
For Christians, the problem of evil (or theodicy, as it is often referred to), has often been an apologetic nightmare in debates with unbelievers and something that has plagued the soul of many a believer when experiencing life's worst tragedies. Questions like, did God cause this evil or why would God allow such suffering in the world? I struggled with these same questions and researched the topic for some time. I was even privileged to take a course on the problem of evil at SEBTS. That course was taught by Dr. Bruce Little and had a profound influence on the way I approach ministry. His work, A Creation-Order Theodicy: God and Gratuitous Evil, challenged me in respect to my understanding of what evil was, God's role and desires regarding evil, and the philosophical problems of the "Greater Good" argument.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Forgiveness and MacDonald
Recently, I was privileged to hear a powerful message on forgiveness from the pastor of Harvest Bible Fellowship out Chicago. In his sermon, Dr. James MacDonald states that "my capacity for forgiveness is directly related to my comprehension of how much God loves me. When my concept is very small, my capacity to love others is very small as well." As I prepare to teach Ephesians 2:11-22 this week, the concept of remembering just what I was saved and forgiven from draws me to press into Christ and forgive others more freely, even when I don't have their understanding or acknowledgement of my hurt. The blog post touching on the points regarding MacDonald's message is here . Enjoy!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
How would I respond?
A man by the name of George Mueller helped start orphanages and inspired the faith of thousands. I was recently encouraged to read from his diary and in July of 1853, Lydia Mueller, his only daughter, was struck with typhoid and it looked pretty certain that she was going to die. They began to gather around her and pray and ask for her soul and her life, and she was miraculously healed by God. Mueller, ecstatic over the healing of his child writes in his journal about it, and here is what he wrote:
“While I was in this affliction, besides being at peace so far as the Lord’s will was concerned, I also felt perfectly at peace with regard to the cause of the affliction.”
I don’t read him saying, “Woo hoo! Alright, my daughter is ill to the point of death!” Because that is not what he is saying at all. Instead, this is, “My heart is killing me, but I trust you God.” I wanted to be careful as I read this, because I didn't want to read it wrong. There were no “fireworks” in this journal entry. Mueller is not excited by the near death of his child, but continues, “Once on a former occasion, the hand of the Lord was heavily laid on me and my family, and I had not the least hesitation in knowing that it was the Father’s rod applied in infinite wisdom and love for the restoration of my soul from the state of lukewarmness.” Now, what he is saying is that, not at this time with his daughter, but at other times he has felt the
discipline of God, and that discipline has saved him from becoming stagnant in his faith. God whipped him, however He did it, through difficulty, hardship, pain or whatever, to save him from stagnant, lukewarm faith. “Now, at this time however, with my daughter, I have no such feeling, conscious as I am of the manifold weaknesses, failings, and shortcomings of my life, I am ready to say with the apostle Paul, ‘O wretched man that I am!’” So here, Mueller is affirming: “I am in great pain through this. I have peace, but I am not enjoying this.” What does he say next?
“Parents know what an only child, a beloved child is, and what to believing parents an only child, a believing child must be. Well, the Father in Heaven said, as it were, by this His dispensation, ‘Art thou willing to give up this child to me?’ My heart responded, As it seems good to Thee, my Heavenly Father. Thy will be done. But as our hearts were made willing to give back our beloved child to Him who had given her to us, so He was ready to leave her to us, and she lived. ‘Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.’ The desires of my heart were, to retain the beloved daughter if it were the will of God; the means to retain her were to be satisfied with the will of the Lord. Of all the trials of faith that as yet I have had to pass through, this was the greatest; and by God's abundant mercy, I own it to His praise, I was enabled to delight myself in the will of God; for I felt perfectly sure, that, if the Lord took this beloved daughter, it would be best for her parents, best for herself, and more for the glory of God than if she lived: this better part I was satisfied with; and thus my heart had peace, perfect peace, and I had not a moment's anxiety.”
Matt Chandler, a noted pastor said this about the same passage: "There is something spectacular about the love of Jesus Christ that in its fullness a man would say, “Your will be done, even if it’s my daughter’s life. You are so much better and so much more beautiful and so much more spectacular that, if that be your will, then so be it.”
I fight cynicism and being overly critical. having experienced great loss on both sides of my family and gone through personal storms, I found myself reading this and immediately desiring to say, “Yes, you can write it because she lived. You can etch that into your journal, because she lived. But what if she would have died? Would you be so confident in the will and might of God if she died?”
I kept reading intrigued by the ability to snoop into another's soul. On February 6, 1870, George Mueller’s wife Mary died of the same fever his from which his daughter had been healed. They had been married 39 years, and she was 64 years old. Mueller preached his wife's funeral and the text that he preached from at her funeral has three simple points. He chose Psalm 119:68, which says, “You are good, and you do good.” And here were his three points:
1. The Lord was good and did good in giving her to me.
2. The Lord was good and did good in so leaving her with me.
3. The Lord was good and did good in taking her from me.
Hardship and difficulty and pain for good. I love my wife and she brings me such great joy that I didn't even know was possible outside of Christ! I love my daughter and her smile makes my heart dance! We have another child on the way that I cannot wait to meet and love on in person. So, sitting here working my last weekend of 3rd shift, in the quietness of the medical records office, I ask, "Would I respond this way?" Lord, let it be so.
“While I was in this affliction, besides being at peace so far as the Lord’s will was concerned, I also felt perfectly at peace with regard to the cause of the affliction.”
I don’t read him saying, “Woo hoo! Alright, my daughter is ill to the point of death!” Because that is not what he is saying at all. Instead, this is, “My heart is killing me, but I trust you God.” I wanted to be careful as I read this, because I didn't want to read it wrong. There were no “fireworks” in this journal entry. Mueller is not excited by the near death of his child, but continues, “Once on a former occasion, the hand of the Lord was heavily laid on me and my family, and I had not the least hesitation in knowing that it was the Father’s rod applied in infinite wisdom and love for the restoration of my soul from the state of lukewarmness.” Now, what he is saying is that, not at this time with his daughter, but at other times he has felt the
discipline of God, and that discipline has saved him from becoming stagnant in his faith. God whipped him, however He did it, through difficulty, hardship, pain or whatever, to save him from stagnant, lukewarm faith. “Now, at this time however, with my daughter, I have no such feeling, conscious as I am of the manifold weaknesses, failings, and shortcomings of my life, I am ready to say with the apostle Paul, ‘O wretched man that I am!’” So here, Mueller is affirming: “I am in great pain through this. I have peace, but I am not enjoying this.” What does he say next?
“Parents know what an only child, a beloved child is, and what to believing parents an only child, a believing child must be. Well, the Father in Heaven said, as it were, by this His dispensation, ‘Art thou willing to give up this child to me?’ My heart responded, As it seems good to Thee, my Heavenly Father. Thy will be done. But as our hearts were made willing to give back our beloved child to Him who had given her to us, so He was ready to leave her to us, and she lived. ‘Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.’ The desires of my heart were, to retain the beloved daughter if it were the will of God; the means to retain her were to be satisfied with the will of the Lord. Of all the trials of faith that as yet I have had to pass through, this was the greatest; and by God's abundant mercy, I own it to His praise, I was enabled to delight myself in the will of God; for I felt perfectly sure, that, if the Lord took this beloved daughter, it would be best for her parents, best for herself, and more for the glory of God than if she lived: this better part I was satisfied with; and thus my heart had peace, perfect peace, and I had not a moment's anxiety.”
Matt Chandler, a noted pastor said this about the same passage: "There is something spectacular about the love of Jesus Christ that in its fullness a man would say, “Your will be done, even if it’s my daughter’s life. You are so much better and so much more beautiful and so much more spectacular that, if that be your will, then so be it.”
I fight cynicism and being overly critical. having experienced great loss on both sides of my family and gone through personal storms, I found myself reading this and immediately desiring to say, “Yes, you can write it because she lived. You can etch that into your journal, because she lived. But what if she would have died? Would you be so confident in the will and might of God if she died?”
I kept reading intrigued by the ability to snoop into another's soul. On February 6, 1870, George Mueller’s wife Mary died of the same fever his from which his daughter had been healed. They had been married 39 years, and she was 64 years old. Mueller preached his wife's funeral and the text that he preached from at her funeral has three simple points. He chose Psalm 119:68, which says, “You are good, and you do good.” And here were his three points:
1. The Lord was good and did good in giving her to me.
2. The Lord was good and did good in so leaving her with me.
3. The Lord was good and did good in taking her from me.
Hardship and difficulty and pain for good. I love my wife and she brings me such great joy that I didn't even know was possible outside of Christ! I love my daughter and her smile makes my heart dance! We have another child on the way that I cannot wait to meet and love on in person. So, sitting here working my last weekend of 3rd shift, in the quietness of the medical records office, I ask, "Would I respond this way?" Lord, let it be so.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Letting Go
In my Biblical Counseling class, we keep coming back to the differences between traditional Biblical counseling and traditional psychology. Sigmund Freud taught that it was combination of our genetics and our environment that we were raised in that make us who we are today. Our professor continues to point us to Isaiah 43:18-19 which states, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." As we discuss the meaning of this verse, our professor keeps pointing out that while our genetics do contribute to who we are, as believers in Jesus Christ, we find our identity in who we are today in Christ, not who we were in our sins. So, even when we desire to think back on some of the tragic things that we have done, or even those that were done to us, we remind ourselves of what Christ has done for us and we move on in that. Man, do I ever need to hear that and remind myself of this daily! So...look forward, forget the things of the past, and run towards Him in what he has done for you and will do for you in the future. He is doing new and wonderful things before us!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
What you are doing and thinking...
..will be what comes out of your mouth. Joe Tanner, a youth pastor who pointed me towards Christ, often would remind us "what's in the well, comes up in the bucket." I want the love I have for God to show to others. I want the overflow of my heart to be shown in my obedience to God. I desire and am seeking to learn how to better share my faith with others. I'm reading, listening, teaching, doing and each of these activities is with the goal of learning to be more faithfully obedient to the words of Christ and my longing to share the greatest gift from God with all of humanity. I'm still learning, but I've come to understand a few simple truths.
1) You will never evangelize the person you do not speak to. Some have attributed the saying "Preach the the Gospel at all times, if necessary use words." to St. Francis of Assisi. While attributing the saying to him may be debated, the saying is outright misleading. It implies that Christians should live out the Gospel through acts of kindness, grace, love, forgiveness and charity towards everyone, and these deeds will show non-believers the Gospel. While it would be an understatement to say that "faith without works is dead" (James 2:20), one would need to understand what is being said here. Ray Comfort once stated that using this popular saying is akin to seeing starving children and exclaiming "feed the hungry - if necessary, use food." Can unbelievers call upon Jesus if they have not believed in Him? No. (Rom. 10:14) Can unbelievers experience salvation without hearing the Gospel? No. (Rom. 10:14) How do unbelievers become acquainted with the precious message of the Gospel? Through the hearing of the Word of God and the audible sharing of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. (Rom. 10:14, 17) Of course your life should reflect the Gospel in such a magnificent way that that way you treat others causes them to recognize something distinctly different about you. Your words will give glory to God and answer the questions "Why does this person act/treat me differently?" and "What hope/purpose is there in this life?" You can't answer these questions, nor present the Gospel with anyone you don't intentionally speak with. I know it's scary, but I'm learning to open my heart and open my mouth to others about the hope we share.
2) We speak out of the overflow of our hearts. Proverbs 4:23 states "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." If we're constantly in the Word of God, serving others, doing missions, serving at Church, praying, and glorifying God, these things will naturally come up in our conversations with non-believers. It's when we focus on ourselves all day, that we talk about ourselves all day. When seeking to find ways to move a conversation to things of God from seemingly unconnected things, talk about your day. What did you learn from/about God when reading the Bible today? What did you learn about how God views people and about God Himself by serving in the nursery, teaching Sunday School, or working at the local shelter? Our purposeful acts of worship and obedience are perfect ways of swinging a conversation from the natural realm to the spiritual.
3) You may not argue someone into believing in Christ, but you most certainly can love and forgive them like Christ in the process. I've had many arguments that I walked away from feeling like I "won" regarding my arguments for God and the Christian faith, but if my attitude in discussing left the person cussing, then I think I've lost in a much more vital way. Our concern for a lost person's eternal state of their soul should always be what others see, not our knowledge. The Apostle Paul even stated that at times he would throw off all knowledge and resolve to know nothing but Christ and him crucified among the people he was ministering to. (1 Cor. 2:2) Why would Paul do that? So that they wouldn't see a puffed-up believer, but an earnest follower of Christ seeking reconciliation to God for those who were as he once was. Of course there is a place for logical arguments and sculpted apologetics, but never at the sake of showing God's love. I have to remind myself that it is as D.T. Niles once put it, "one beggar telling another beggar where the food is." While this may be a very limited definition of evangelism, it should present the image of us meeting real needs for real people, and earnestly seeking to do this out of obedience and compassion.
Perhaps C.H. Spurgeon said it best exhorting "If sinners are to be damned, let them leap over our bodies to do so." Please open your mouth and tell someone about Christ today. You'll always be glad you did!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
In a Moment
I work at a big box retail store making copies. People who know me, know that this is not my end goal, but that my desire is to be faithful where I am in the individual moments bringing glory to God and spreading his name. Throughout the variety of life's situations, my wife, Lindsey and I have continued to learn about "the moments." Having experienced heart-breaking circumstances that forced us to stop and take stock in our family, work situations, and dreams, we have come to realize the importance of trusting God in the day-to-day moments. While most of us, myself included, are looking for the "dare-to-be-great" moments, life seems to be lived in a series of mundane instances that we should be turning towards Gospel moments. I try to make those moments count, sometimes that happens and sometimes I am a bit more unsuccessful. Today, I played with my daughter and continued to help her learn to navigate our house (she's 17 months old). I disciplined her lovingly for being disobedient to her mother to which her broken heart responded with big hugs and big tears. Those would be two great examples of little moments that only moments ago were a clear analogy of my day and the moments that happened at my time so far at the big retail box. I have had the great pleasure of sharing the Gospel with nearly all of my co-workers in a full, meaningful way, and with many of our customers. Those are moments that I treasure and I am thankful for the opportunity to spread the name of the one who has graciously and mercifully saved me...
however, I am greatly imperfect and I am reminded of that in small moments like the one I had tonight. Tonight, my frustration with conflicting policies at work boiled over in a discussion with another employee and I lost my cool. I was visibly flustered. I voiced my frustration and then realized that I had done it. I didn't shout, there was no name calling, no foul language, no finger-pointing, but we both knew what had just happened. It's not that I wasn't "keeping my cool" or being perfect. None of us are, so that isn't the expectation. The reality was that I let loose on someone else in a way that was not glorifying to Christ. We've all had our moments, and I claimed mine shamefully. I stepped away, collected my thoughts, and then slinked back to apologize. It wasn't until moments ago that I realized the impact of their words in response to my apology for my behavior. I apologized and the person looked at me and said, "Don't worry about it, but what will you tell Jesus about it when you get to Heaven?" A person whom I've never gotten to even acknowledge the existence of God understood that I believe that a person will have to give an account for the way they lived their life, the words that they speak, but most importantly for what they believe. He noted that my actions in that moment seemed to not line up with what I was saying. (Check out Matthew 12:33-37) In the moment, it sparked a Gospel conversation regarding who we are in relation to god and our great need for Him. I was convicted over my reaction to my frustrations. I acted out. I was wrong. I asked for forgiveness and then there was understanding. The same way those moments of discipline with my daughter from earlier in my day taught me about how to better love my daughter and taught her that I loved her through my discipline, in the moment with my co-worker, I saw a small picture of the Gospel and, more importantly, the need for honesty with unbelievers. The moments of sharing the Gospel with my co-worker led to an understanding of what I believe. While I regret acting rudely, I am rejoicing and thankful that God allowed my sin in the moment to point towards the one who makes salvation eternal. As people who are without the hope of the Gospel walk by me each day, I need to be mindful of the moments and not let them slip away.
however, I am greatly imperfect and I am reminded of that in small moments like the one I had tonight. Tonight, my frustration with conflicting policies at work boiled over in a discussion with another employee and I lost my cool. I was visibly flustered. I voiced my frustration and then realized that I had done it. I didn't shout, there was no name calling, no foul language, no finger-pointing, but we both knew what had just happened. It's not that I wasn't "keeping my cool" or being perfect. None of us are, so that isn't the expectation. The reality was that I let loose on someone else in a way that was not glorifying to Christ. We've all had our moments, and I claimed mine shamefully. I stepped away, collected my thoughts, and then slinked back to apologize. It wasn't until moments ago that I realized the impact of their words in response to my apology for my behavior. I apologized and the person looked at me and said, "Don't worry about it, but what will you tell Jesus about it when you get to Heaven?" A person whom I've never gotten to even acknowledge the existence of God understood that I believe that a person will have to give an account for the way they lived their life, the words that they speak, but most importantly for what they believe. He noted that my actions in that moment seemed to not line up with what I was saying. (Check out Matthew 12:33-37) In the moment, it sparked a Gospel conversation regarding who we are in relation to god and our great need for Him. I was convicted over my reaction to my frustrations. I acted out. I was wrong. I asked for forgiveness and then there was understanding. The same way those moments of discipline with my daughter from earlier in my day taught me about how to better love my daughter and taught her that I loved her through my discipline, in the moment with my co-worker, I saw a small picture of the Gospel and, more importantly, the need for honesty with unbelievers. The moments of sharing the Gospel with my co-worker led to an understanding of what I believe. While I regret acting rudely, I am rejoicing and thankful that God allowed my sin in the moment to point towards the one who makes salvation eternal. As people who are without the hope of the Gospel walk by me each day, I need to be mindful of the moments and not let them slip away.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
New beginnings
This past few months have been a series of new beginnings and the overall overcoming of multiple obstacles. Many knew that Lindsey and I were applying to be missionaries with the IMB. We had received theological and psychological clearance, but we didn't get medical clearance. For a more detailed explanation of what is going on with the IMB and us, look here. So now, I'm seeking a Master of Divinity degree with a specialization in Missiology. This degree is practical for missions locally and globally and is an incredibly practical degree for a pastor seeking to lead his people towards following the Great Commission. In the end, the worship of God through the calling of people to become worshipers of Him should be the goal of all Christians and especially pastors.
God also saw fit to provide me with a job at Staples working in the Copy Center. Ideally, I would have found a job within a local church that would allow me to best utilize the calling we feel God has given us to preach/teach, but the reality is that we have an outlet to preach/teach at the church we are currently members at and Staples has already provided multiple opportunities to witness to co-workers and customers. While I desire to be serving in a church in a pastoral setting, I'm constantly learning to be faithful and obedient wherever God has placed me. It would be easy to pout, complain, become disgruntled regarding not going out with the IMB's fall deployment. I would be a liar if I said that I didn't have bouts of jealousy from time to time that I must pray through and give over to God, but regardless of how much I desire to go, more than anything I desire to see ANYONE go, so that some (maybe ever ALL) can hear the unbelievable story of what God has done for them out mercy and love. For now, the new beginnings keep coming and we press forward, knowing that this life is short and the task is long and overwhelming in our own strength. We press on, because we desperately desire to see God glorified and to know that He is pleased with our daily offerings to Him.
God also saw fit to provide me with a job at Staples working in the Copy Center. Ideally, I would have found a job within a local church that would allow me to best utilize the calling we feel God has given us to preach/teach, but the reality is that we have an outlet to preach/teach at the church we are currently members at and Staples has already provided multiple opportunities to witness to co-workers and customers. While I desire to be serving in a church in a pastoral setting, I'm constantly learning to be faithful and obedient wherever God has placed me. It would be easy to pout, complain, become disgruntled regarding not going out with the IMB's fall deployment. I would be a liar if I said that I didn't have bouts of jealousy from time to time that I must pray through and give over to God, but regardless of how much I desire to go, more than anything I desire to see ANYONE go, so that some (maybe ever ALL) can hear the unbelievable story of what God has done for them out mercy and love. For now, the new beginnings keep coming and we press forward, knowing that this life is short and the task is long and overwhelming in our own strength. We press on, because we desperately desire to see God glorified and to know that He is pleased with our daily offerings to Him.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Robert Robinson's wandering soul
Robert Robinson is a name that few today know, but many know one of his hymns, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing". Take a look at the second verse:
2. Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I'm come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
Robinson was 22 years old at this point, yet already understood the Gospel enough to understood that he was far from worthy of the forgiveness and love of Jesus Christ. He embraced the grace and forgiveness and states that he raises an "Eben-ezer" to God as a reminder to himself and all around him that God alone had delivered him. I think that most Christians would grab hold of this story and want to claim it for their own, but Robinson didn't stop here. The third verse is sort of foretelling chapter:
3. O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
Robinson, just a few years after writing this abandoned his position as a Baptist pastor (formerly Methodist) and wandered, estranged from God for nearly 50 years. Robinson believed that he was prone to wander, as I know so well that all of us (I know I feel this way) feel the desire to "leave the God we love", even though we love Him.
I think that the one of the primary reasons for this is that we stop feeling the need for the Gospel in our own lives. We need to DAILY preach the Gospel to ourselves. The Gospel isn't a one-time event in our lives that allows us to just try and be moral from then on. The Gospel requires a daily giving of ourselves over to the understanding that we are bigger sinners than we ever thought we were and that requires a bigger Savior than we thought Christ was (and He is!!).
Two great resources that I have recently found and love are this video from John Piper on preaching the Gospel to yourself and this article by Kaleo Church on preaching the Gospel to yourself.
As I walk through this life, I'm ever so thankful for the many people who have gone before me that encourage me to walk in a manner fitting of our Savior. To not leave you hanging, Robert Robinson, after nearly 50 years of wandering, stopped, turned around, and embraced the Savior he had been running from for so long just shortly before he died. What a mighty God we serve!
2. Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I'm come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
Robinson was 22 years old at this point, yet already understood the Gospel enough to understood that he was far from worthy of the forgiveness and love of Jesus Christ. He embraced the grace and forgiveness and states that he raises an "Eben-ezer" to God as a reminder to himself and all around him that God alone had delivered him. I think that most Christians would grab hold of this story and want to claim it for their own, but Robinson didn't stop here. The third verse is sort of foretelling chapter:
3. O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
Robinson, just a few years after writing this abandoned his position as a Baptist pastor (formerly Methodist) and wandered, estranged from God for nearly 50 years. Robinson believed that he was prone to wander, as I know so well that all of us (I know I feel this way) feel the desire to "leave the God we love", even though we love Him.
I think that the one of the primary reasons for this is that we stop feeling the need for the Gospel in our own lives. We need to DAILY preach the Gospel to ourselves. The Gospel isn't a one-time event in our lives that allows us to just try and be moral from then on. The Gospel requires a daily giving of ourselves over to the understanding that we are bigger sinners than we ever thought we were and that requires a bigger Savior than we thought Christ was (and He is!!).
Two great resources that I have recently found and love are this video from John Piper on preaching the Gospel to yourself and this article by Kaleo Church on preaching the Gospel to yourself.
As I walk through this life, I'm ever so thankful for the many people who have gone before me that encourage me to walk in a manner fitting of our Savior. To not leave you hanging, Robert Robinson, after nearly 50 years of wandering, stopped, turned around, and embraced the Savior he had been running from for so long just shortly before he died. What a mighty God we serve!
Monday, February 1, 2010
You're only as close as you want to be.
Today, I had the pleasure meeting with a friend of mine, Chad Hood, who serves the church of Bayleaf Baptist as the College and Career pastor. While we were talking he mentioned the statement: "You're only as close to Christ as you desire to be." That seems monumentally true and can be evidenced throughout my Christian experience. Each and every time I have claimed to have been going through a period of silence, where I could not hear God, it was often in direct correlation to my unrepentant heart or due to idolatry in one form of another in my life. Whether the idol was movies, video games, grades in school, my wife, my job, my daughter, my friends, my pastor...in all, these things come back to me drawing near to myself in pride and pushing myself farther and farther away from Christ. I want to be close to Christ. I know that in order to get to where I need to be, it will take a desire that I may even fear is beyond me sometimes. As sad as that is (and it is horrifying to me), I know that my Heavenly Father desires to have a restored, right relationship with me that only He can provide and I have to want to be close to Him, open my eyes, and see that He's been there the whole time.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Devotionals
Recently I started a daily devotional, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, and with it began journaling my prayers. I had been told for years that this would be a great way to chronicle what God was doing in my heart and life and to see how miraculously He had moved through set periods of time. I've been journaling for nearly a month now and I am not finding that God is answering prayers quite the way I had expected. Instead, he has been showing me just sinful and selfish I am and that my desires may not always line up with His (just a small percentage of the time, I'm sure). :) I am weak, frail, and in desperate need of His saving power every single day of my life.
Lindsey and I have hit a rough spot. Not in our marriage, I dare say that we have never been stronger (Praise the Lord!). No, no, I am speaking of the circumstances in our life. It is our desire to be used by God to seek and save the lost in whatever ministry context that puts us. It is our desire to be equipped to do so, yet serve Him while we seek that training. Nearly a year ago, we began the process to become IMB missionaries and were turned down based on health reasons and a cancellation of the program we had applied for. Today, we are involved in the Master of Divinity with a specialization in International Church Planting degree program, and I will finish my last bit of stateside coursework this spring. While I want to shout for joy and I am so hopeful about what God will do through us and our fellow workers, my joy seems abated or restricted, as we still do not have medical clearance. I have sought out employment for the past 9 months to no avail, trying to find something to support our family while I was in school and if not for the overwhelming, intervening hand of God, we would not have made it to here. I dare say that God's providential hand has sustained us when it has made no sense at all for us to have financially made it another day.
When you ask, "what makes finding a job so difficult?", it becomes even more complex. I go to school full-time, co-teach a Sunday School class, teach an evangelism course, am preparing to (if given medical clearance) move my family overseas in 9-10 months time, have an adorable daughter whom I love, a wife who makes me feel refreshed and yet like I never desire to be apart from her, and have 3 degrees in ministry which seem to make me uniquely over or under-qualified for most jobs. The jobs that I find that are of a good salary, do not have flexible schedules to accommodate school (which under providing for my family, is a HUGE priority for me). The jobs that are flexible, keep telling me that I am over-qualified or that they believe that I am not worth training because I do not desire a long-term career with them. I don't apply to ministry positions, because I feel it unfair to them when I know that I will be abandoning them in such a short time for missions. If I was not doing missions, I would apply for ministry positions AND probably not take on such a heavy school load so that I could more easily find work. Honestly, I can't seem to get any job that I have applied for (even fast food and grocery stores) to call me back. There are several ministry positions popping up all over in our town that seem exciting and intriguing, but I have to ask the question, "Do I want to take that position because I am being led by the Holy Spirit or am I wanting that position based on my need for a job to support my family?" It would seem that to apply for any of those positions would be to abandon the idea of long-term international missions for now, change degree programs, and head in a different way. Some are recommending that...even before we hear whether medical clearance will be granted. Lindsey (my blessing of a wife) and I keep seeking God for guidance and wisdom. So in the silence and darkness...even in confusion, we are wanting to make good choices in the moment, but then I read my devotional a few days ago. Oswald Chambers states:
Whenever God gives a vision to a saint, He puts him, as it were, in the shadow of His hand, and the saint’s duty is to be still and listen. There is a darkness which comes from excess of light, and then is the time to listen. Genesis 16 is an illustration of listening to good advice when it is dark instead of waiting for God to send the light. When God gives a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will make you in accordance with the vision He has given if you will wait His time. Never try and help God fulfill His word. Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on commonsense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not of displeasure. Never pump up joy and confidence, but stay upon God (cf. Isaiah 50:10, 11)
Have I any confidence in the flesh? Or have I got beyond all confidence in myself and in men and women of God, in books and prayers and ecstasies; and is my confidence placed now in God Himself, not in His blessings? “I am the Almighty God”—El-Shaddai, the Father-Mother God. The one thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real. As soon as God becomes real, other people become shadows. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever perturb the one who is built on God.
Having read that, we are continuing to pray for guidance, persevering in joy and hope, and waiting to see the amazing things God will do after we step out of darkness and into His perfect light. Also, I am sticking with this devotional/journaling thing. I don't know exactly what God will teach us, but I am ready to listen now. Finally.
P.S. A great resource for FREE devotionals is here.
Lindsey and I have hit a rough spot. Not in our marriage, I dare say that we have never been stronger (Praise the Lord!). No, no, I am speaking of the circumstances in our life. It is our desire to be used by God to seek and save the lost in whatever ministry context that puts us. It is our desire to be equipped to do so, yet serve Him while we seek that training. Nearly a year ago, we began the process to become IMB missionaries and were turned down based on health reasons and a cancellation of the program we had applied for. Today, we are involved in the Master of Divinity with a specialization in International Church Planting degree program, and I will finish my last bit of stateside coursework this spring. While I want to shout for joy and I am so hopeful about what God will do through us and our fellow workers, my joy seems abated or restricted, as we still do not have medical clearance. I have sought out employment for the past 9 months to no avail, trying to find something to support our family while I was in school and if not for the overwhelming, intervening hand of God, we would not have made it to here. I dare say that God's providential hand has sustained us when it has made no sense at all for us to have financially made it another day.
When you ask, "what makes finding a job so difficult?", it becomes even more complex. I go to school full-time, co-teach a Sunday School class, teach an evangelism course, am preparing to (if given medical clearance) move my family overseas in 9-10 months time, have an adorable daughter whom I love, a wife who makes me feel refreshed and yet like I never desire to be apart from her, and have 3 degrees in ministry which seem to make me uniquely over or under-qualified for most jobs. The jobs that I find that are of a good salary, do not have flexible schedules to accommodate school (which under providing for my family, is a HUGE priority for me). The jobs that are flexible, keep telling me that I am over-qualified or that they believe that I am not worth training because I do not desire a long-term career with them. I don't apply to ministry positions, because I feel it unfair to them when I know that I will be abandoning them in such a short time for missions. If I was not doing missions, I would apply for ministry positions AND probably not take on such a heavy school load so that I could more easily find work. Honestly, I can't seem to get any job that I have applied for (even fast food and grocery stores) to call me back. There are several ministry positions popping up all over in our town that seem exciting and intriguing, but I have to ask the question, "Do I want to take that position because I am being led by the Holy Spirit or am I wanting that position based on my need for a job to support my family?" It would seem that to apply for any of those positions would be to abandon the idea of long-term international missions for now, change degree programs, and head in a different way. Some are recommending that...even before we hear whether medical clearance will be granted. Lindsey (my blessing of a wife) and I keep seeking God for guidance and wisdom. So in the silence and darkness...even in confusion, we are wanting to make good choices in the moment, but then I read my devotional a few days ago. Oswald Chambers states:
Whenever God gives a vision to a saint, He puts him, as it were, in the shadow of His hand, and the saint’s duty is to be still and listen. There is a darkness which comes from excess of light, and then is the time to listen. Genesis 16 is an illustration of listening to good advice when it is dark instead of waiting for God to send the light. When God gives a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will make you in accordance with the vision He has given if you will wait His time. Never try and help God fulfill His word. Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on commonsense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not of displeasure. Never pump up joy and confidence, but stay upon God (cf. Isaiah 50:10, 11)
Have I any confidence in the flesh? Or have I got beyond all confidence in myself and in men and women of God, in books and prayers and ecstasies; and is my confidence placed now in God Himself, not in His blessings? “I am the Almighty God”—El-Shaddai, the Father-Mother God. The one thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real. As soon as God becomes real, other people become shadows. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever perturb the one who is built on God.
Having read that, we are continuing to pray for guidance, persevering in joy and hope, and waiting to see the amazing things God will do after we step out of darkness and into His perfect light. Also, I am sticking with this devotional/journaling thing. I don't know exactly what God will teach us, but I am ready to listen now. Finally.
P.S. A great resource for FREE devotionals is here.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Tell-Tale Heart
Today, I meet with a friend for coffee after hearing our church's amazing mission's service yesterday. We had the privilege of hearing from several different speakers who are supported (in one way or another) by Bay Leaf Baptist Church. The interesting thing was that when each of these missionaries was asked what the focus of their ministries was, all answered "to tell others about the Gospel of Jesus Christ." I hear that often, attending a Seminary, that "our focus is missions," but when I ask how often people around me share their faith I rarely get answers that seem genuinely concerned with the state of the lost. In fact, I often wonder if my heart is set and tuned to the commands of Christ to seek and save the lost. Our pastor spoke of having a heart transplant upon becoming a Christian and of how once we are his, we should be transformed into someone who desires to be Godly. I can't help but wonder if someone were to examine my heart, would they find my heart, or God's heart? I fear I know the answer, and something's gotta give.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Where to begin?
When the thought of making this blog originally began to form and shape in my mind, I wondered what the point would be. perhaps this will be just my wondering thoughts. Perhaps it will be a way to work through my theological and philosophical ramblings. I can hope that it will never turn into an angry, Dennis Miller style rant. No matter what, I desire this blog to speak to God's glory and to my ever present need for Him to work mightily in my wicked heart every day. So we'll begin there.
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