In a Moment

I work at a big box retail store making copies. People who know me, know that this is not my end goal, but that my desire is to be faithful where I am in the individual moments bringing glory to God and spreading his name. Throughout the variety of life's situations, my wife, Lindsey and I have continued to learn about "the moments." Having experienced heart-breaking circumstances that forced us to stop and take stock in our family, work situations, and dreams, we have come to realize the importance of trusting God in the day-to-day moments. While most of us, myself included, are looking for the "dare-to-be-great" moments, life seems to be lived in a series of mundane instances that we should be turning towards Gospel moments. I try to make those moments count, sometimes that happens and sometimes I am a bit more unsuccessful. Today, I played with my daughter and continued to help her learn to navigate our house (she's 17 months old). I disciplined her lovingly for being disobedient to her mother to which her broken heart responded with big hugs and big tears. Those would be two great examples of little moments that only moments ago were a clear analogy of my day and the moments that happened at my time so far at the big retail box. I have had the great pleasure of sharing the Gospel with nearly all of my co-workers in a full, meaningful way, and with many of our customers. Those are moments that I treasure and I am thankful for the opportunity to spread the name of the one who has graciously and mercifully saved me...

however, I am greatly imperfect and I am reminded of that in small moments like the one I had tonight. Tonight, my frustration with conflicting policies at work boiled over in a discussion with another employee and I lost my cool. I was visibly flustered. I voiced my frustration and then realized that I had done it. I didn't shout, there was no name calling, no foul language, no finger-pointing, but we both knew what had just happened. It's not that I wasn't "keeping my cool" or being perfect. None of us are, so that isn't the expectation. The reality was that I let loose on someone else in a way that was not glorifying to Christ. We've all had our moments, and I claimed mine shamefully. I stepped away, collected my thoughts, and then slinked back to apologize. It wasn't until moments ago that I realized the impact of their words in response to my apology for my behavior. I apologized and the person looked at me and said, "Don't worry about it, but what will you tell Jesus about it when you get to Heaven?" A person whom I've never gotten to even acknowledge the existence of God understood that I believe that a person will have to give an account for the way they lived their life, the words that they speak, but most importantly for what they believe. He noted that my actions in that moment seemed to not line up with what I was saying. (Check out Matthew 12:33-37) In the moment, it sparked a Gospel conversation regarding who we are in relation to god and our great need for Him. I was convicted over my reaction to my frustrations. I acted out. I was wrong. I asked for forgiveness and then there was understanding. The same way those moments of discipline with my daughter from earlier in my day taught me about how to better love my daughter and taught her that I loved her through my discipline, in the moment with my co-worker, I saw a small picture of the Gospel and, more importantly, the need for honesty with unbelievers. The moments of sharing the Gospel with my co-worker led to an understanding of what I believe. While I regret acting rudely, I am rejoicing and thankful that God allowed my sin in the moment to point towards the one who makes salvation eternal. As people who are without the hope of the Gospel walk by me each day, I need to be mindful of the moments and not let them slip away.