You're only as close as you want to be.

Today, I had the pleasure meeting with a friend of mine, Chad Hood, who serves the church of Bayleaf Baptist as the College and Career pastor. While we were talking he mentioned the statement: "You're only as close to Christ as you desire to be." That seems monumentally true and can be evidenced throughout my Christian experience. Each and every time I have claimed to have been going through a period of silence, where I could not hear God, it was often in direct correlation to my unrepentant heart or due to idolatry in one form of another in my life. Whether the idol was movies, video games, grades in school, my wife, my job, my daughter, my friends, my pastor...in all, these things come back to me drawing near to myself in pride and pushing myself farther and farther away from Christ. I want to be close to Christ. I know that in order to get to where I need to be, it will take a desire that I may even fear is beyond me sometimes. As sad as that is (and it is horrifying to me), I know that my Heavenly Father desires to have a restored, right relationship with me that only He can provide and I have to want to be close to Him, open my eyes, and see that He's been there the whole time.