Thankful

Well, now that a full year has passed since I last posted, I look back at this blog I am thankful for it. My intentions in starting the blog for me to give random musings about a variety of subjects, but the reality is that it quickly became a launching point for me to read the blogs of others that I had placed in my blog roll while i sought to further understand the mysteries of God. Having passed through a year without posting, I wanted to stop and say thank you to a few who deserved praise (in a very non-comprehensive list).

I graduated from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in December with a Master of Divinity degree specializing in Christian Ministry. That degree had been a long time coming, for more reasons than I care to name, but I will try to name a few. First, I should have finished that degree when I completed my Master of Arts as was recommended by so many professors, family and friends. In my arrogance, I didn't. I was running from God in the way that many of that age do: passively. I didn't shake my fists at the heavens, I simply stopped talking to and listening to my heavenly father and determined to go my own way. I can list reasons why I did this, but the reality is, I was pridefully, selfishly not ready to be a man of God; still content to be one without care or responsibility (all while married to a patient woman of God). Second, I was terrified of failing in ministry. I had seen others fail morally and thought them to be of much greater character and moral fiber than myself. I had often been complimented on my work ethic, but work ethic alone would not be enough to shepherd God's people. If they could fall and disgrace God and drag down an entire congregation, then my role was clearly not to fill their shoes. I became afraid and wanted to "teach" in an academic setting so that I would not be forced to dwell among those who dealt with the real issues of life. Working at a hospital has taught me that in times of intense suffering and grief, no one asks if you would debate with them the finer points of trinitarian theology. They want to know "Why" and they want to know "Who." I was terrified I could answer neither. After the running and fears subsided, I was back at SEBTS. It was here that I learned that a total reliance on the Holy Spirit to change me and everyone that I proclaimed Jesus to as I sought to see others reconciled to God was not only vital, it was the only way to do ministry well. I am thankful for the many professors who put trust where it should not be placed and invested time, prayer, and energy into me. Since coming back to SEBTS, I have been blessed to learn more in the past two years than I ever did in first 6 1/2 and I don't credit that to them getting better faculty. I credit that to a radical change that God has been working in my heart through their teaching and a through a relationship with the Father, the likes of which I had not known before. I'm thankful for SEBTS.

I am thankful for patient, loving parents. My parents, Rose and Bud Brogli, have faithfully supported me through what must now seem like endless educational endeavors, at least 15 different jobs, and they have done so with great love. I am thankful that they have offered wise counsel (even when I thought I didn't want it). I am thankful that they provided a place for me to live while I was in college and let me rent from them while I was finishing up my masters. It is a blessing to be surrounded by parents who care for your well-being so much that they support you even when they think you have lost your ever-loving mind. Whenever possible, they have come to hear me preach, offered countless hours of babysitting my two little ones, given gifts of time and money to bring joy and ease stress, and celebrated and cried with Lindsey and I through many good and bad times. I am thankful for parents who know the Gospel of Jesus Christ and show the grace of God to their son and his family. I am thankful for my parents.

I am thankful for my bride, Lindsey. Lindsey has followed me through addictions to video games, followed me while I lead us into debt while I wrongly chased material pleasures, she has followed me to a variety of jobs, followed me while I was struck by cars, followed me through health uncertainties, followed me into parenthood, and has now followed me into full-time ministry. We have been married for 7 years and I cannot imagine my life without her. She sees all of my flaws, yet still supports and listens when I preach. She takes notes and encourages me (even gives helpful criticisms to honestly, lovingly point me towards declaring the Word of God better). Linds has stuck by me when others have abandoned me, threatened me, did not believe in me, questioned my motives and heart, and even when I was the one who did all of the above to myself. She has not just been a helper, she has been a beaming beacon of hope pointing me back to my Savior in so many subtle ways. Having her in my life is a testimony to God's grace to me and she has made every love story or poem I have ever read and romantic movie I have ever watched come alive. She is the standard of beauty, virtue, and kindness by which all other women are judged in my mind and she loves Jesus. I am thankful for a wife that loves Jesus and yet still loves me too. I am so indebted to the Lord for creating and allowing me to know my Lindsey and I am eternally grateful for Lindsey.

Finally, I am thankful for my God and that in His word (Isaiah 30:18), He reminds me that He is waiting to be gracious to me and has placed Himself in a position to be merciful to me. I am thankful that He never gives up on those that He loves. I am thankful that He is a forgiving and gracious God. As I am now a father, I see how desperately I desire for my children to walk in the right way and also how proud I am of them when they make even the slightest accomplishment. On days when I am found foolishly, pridefully pounding my chest and exclaiming to the world that I am no longer a slave to this kind of sin or that, I do not see Him shaking His head wondering why I ever submitted to sin to begin with. Instead, I see Him in the scriptures as a proud father longing to wipe the dirt off my knees after the last fall and help me walk worthy of the one who had called me to begin with. He has waited patiently on me until my thoughts each morning are those found in Isaiah 33:2: "O Lord, be gracious to us; we wait for you. be our arm every morning, our salvation in the time of trouble." I know now that without Him, I can never be the man I desire to be and more importantly, without Him, I will never become who He has made me to be. I cannot love my wife and children well without His grace. I cannot be a good employee or employer without His grace. His grace is not only sufficient, it is essential to eevry goal and dream I have. I am thankful because in His graciousness, I am able to know God and be known by Him, despite all of my failures. Salvation is an indescribable, barely believable gift. Thankful is wholly inadequate to describe how I feel, but I am grateful to be called a "child of God," despite my wandering heart.

Thank you for investing in me and I pray that the return on your investment will be seen in eternity.